If your sleep has gone sideways and your mind will not settle at night, you are not imagining it — and you are not the only one.
A lot of people notice this in the years leading up to menopause, often called perimenopause (you might also see it written as premenopause). Hormone changes can change how long it takes to fall asleep, how often you wake up, add in a few hot flashes, and anything you are still carrying from the day, and wow has your sleep routine ever changed! Anxiety can make it harder to sleep, and poor sleep can increase anxiety. It starts to feel like a loop you cannot think your way out of.
What this can look like
You might lie awake replaying the day, or wake at 3 a.m. with your heart going and no clear reason. You might feel tired and wired at the same time — the least helpful combination. It’s like your body hit snooze and your brain hit refresh. Small things feel bigger. Patience runs out faster. Some people describe it as not feeling like themselves, even if they cannot point to one big problem.
It’s common for perimenopause to have an impact on sleep, mood, and your nervous system.
Counselling is not a replacement for medical care. If sleep or mood changes feel sudden or severe, or you have questions about hormones, a doctor or nurse practitioner is the right person for that side of things. Counselling can sit alongside that care.
How counselling can help
In counselling, we would start with what your nights and days actually feel like — not a lecture about what you should be doing, and not another tip about chamomile tea. Together we can look at what happens in your mind and body when sleep will not come, ways to settle your nervous system when anxiety spikes, and what is in your control right now versus what needs more support. If you want to, we can also talk about how to explain this to a partner or family.
I use practical approaches, including tools from CBT, mindfulness, and somatic awareness, and I adapt them to you. The goal is not perfect sleep on a timeline. It is feeling less alone with what you are going through, and having a few things that actually help on a hard night.
You do not have to wait until you are exhausted to reach out. If you have been wondering whether this is “just a phase” or something you should get support for, a conversation can help you sort that out.
If you want to talk
I offer counselling in person in downtown Kelowna and online anywhere in British Columbia. You’re welcome to start with a free 15-minute call at (778) 719-3705.